8:11:00 AM

boxes are made for things, not people.

7:19:00 AM

one of my favorite things in the world is waking up in the middle of the night 
realizing that you are sleeping in my arms
i watch your chest falling and rising 
and i can't stop smiling
at the thought 
that i get to be the person to hold you like this
that i get to be the person who gets your stinky, morning kiss
and i miss this
when you're not here 
to have pillows 
instead of you
but now you're here 
and i'm free of sorrows 
and i cannot even think of
of time ticking
of hours running
and everything has become nothing
as i watch you smiling
in my arms, 

8:49:00 AM

i've named her sam. 

sometimes when i'm around many people, i feel itchy. i feel like there's millions of ants crawling in my skin, making me want to shout and cry and pull all my hair out.and sometimes i do. i go to the bathroom and scratch my arms over and over and over and over again until I can only feel hurt, not itch. these ants are sam.  

sometimes when i'm speaking in front of many people, my heart pounds like someone is running after me and i cannot do anything other than run and run and run. my heart pounds and pounds and pounds until i can barely breathe and speak and i just want it to stop. i wanted to stop speaking and start breathing again. sam was chasing after me.

sometimes i wake up in bad mood for no reason. the small things make me angry- missing hairbrush, pen running out of ink, dirt in my glasses, shoelaces getting untied. and it's so hard to be angry for not knowing the reason, for not having a reason. the reason's usually just sam. 

sometimes i wake up screaming and running and jumping and crying and scratching myself. the room is too dark!!! why is it dark in here??? i'm blind turn on the lights please please please it's too dark i cannot see anything. i cannot see anything other than sam and im so afraid of her get her away from me please

sometimes i feel exhausted and tired for no reason. no feelings. no motivation. no goals. none. sometimes sam makes me feel like i don't have anything. 
sometimes sam tells me to shut down. and sometimes i do.

sam is here. telling me to stop typing.


Three Main Reasons Why You Should Wear Whatever The Hell You Are Comfortable With

10:55:00 AM

One boring afternoon, I was browsing in Facebook when I saw a link shared by one of my friends. I don't normally open links but the title caught my attention. It was a link to a blog and the title was "3 Main Reasons Why You Must Not Wear a Two-Piece Swimsuit". And ugh, I shouldn't have opened it... It frustrated me so much. Here is what in the blog: 

Since she gave three reasons why a woman shouldn't wear a two-piece swimsuit, I'll give THREE REASONS WHY A PERSON SHOULD WEAR WHATEVER MAKES HER COMFORTABLE. 

1. To Gain Self-Confidence

It is undeniable that when you flaunt your assets, you feel more confident and at ease. Self-respect has nothing to do with what you are wearing. Wear clothes because you want to wear them. Wear clothes for yourself. Wear long sleeves, wear one-piece swimsuit, wear two-piece swimsuit, go naked if you want... You deserve respect because you're a human being. 

I wear two-piece swimsuits because I want to. (And because it's fucking hot in the beach.) It's as simple as that- not because I want people to look at me. Not because I want to "provoke" men. 

Women deserve respect whatever the hell they are wearing. 

Instead of teaching women to cover up themselves, why not teach men to control themselves and respect women? Why not teach men to stop treating women like objects? 

2. Your Body Belongs To YOU (And only YOU)

Stop teaching women (and men) that their bodies are not theirs. 

You say, "Women are not created for the source of lust." And yet, you are the ones who treat women like sources of lust. YOU OBJECTIFY WOMEN. 

Your body belongs to you. You are the one living in it. You decide what you want to wear. 

3. To Help Yourself 

"A WIN-WIN SITUATION?" Are you fucking kidding me? You tell women to cover-up themselves so guys will respect them and not lust over them and you call it a "win-win situation"? 

Men will be held responsible for their actions. Women should NOT be held responsible for the wrongdoings of men. 

Never blame the victim. If a woman gets sexually harassed or raped, IT IS NEVER HER FAULT. Whether she is wearing a school uniform or a two-piece swimsuit or even wearing nothing, IT IS NOT HER FAULT. Men have brains. They make their own decisions, just as women do. And raping and sexually harassing someone, that's a decision a person makes. I have never in my life went outside the house  and not get catcalled... Whether I was wearing a uniform or pants or shorts, men always whistle or catcall me. 

By telling women to cover up themselves, we are simply telling men that they can sexually harass or rape women when they are not covered up. Get it? 

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