prose #1 : HOME

11:12:00 AM

I'm scared of a lot of things.

I'm scared of the dark. I'm scared of rats. I'm scared of how deep the ocean is. I'm scared of being buried alive. I'm scared of the possibility of getting blind in the future. I'm scared of so many impossible things.

But most of the time, I'm scared of you.

I'm scared of you meeting new people. People who can make you laugh. People who wouldn't stress you out at 2 AM in the morning. People who listen to your problems rather than tell you problems. I'm scared of you meeting people who like the same music and books as you. People who don't just listen to Taylor Swift and cover songs. I'm scared of you finding out that there are far more interesting people than me. I'm scared of the idea of you slipping away from me.

I'm scared of you finding out a whole new world- a world without me in it.I want you to find new worlds and meet new people. I want you to be able to find yourself. I love seeing you happy. I want you to discover new things. But, damn it, I'm so scared. I'm scared of you forgetting me while you are making new memories.

I'm scared of me not having someone to go home to. The idea of not having you at the end of the day makes me feel empty. You are my home and I'm scared of you finding yourself a new home- Home that I'm not a part of.

But do you know what scares me most when it comes to you?

I'm scared of you being unhappy. I'm scared of you getting tired of my bullshit and my insecurities and my drama. I'm scared of you losing your faith in me. I scared of you wanting to find new worlds and meet new people without me.

Take me with you. Take me with you while you discover new things. I promise not to bother you when you need some time alone. I promise to hold your hand when you're afraid. I promise to hold you when the new worlds you've discovered take away all your energy. I promise to run away with you when the new worlds stress you out. I promise to be here even when I'm so afraid. I promise to trust you.

I'm scared of losing you; but I will never ever be the reason why you stay at one place. I will never let that happen.

I can't promise to stop being afraid; but I can promise to be always here and there and everywhere you want me to be.

You are my home and I promise I'll always be yours. 

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