rants, rambles, frustrations, etc.(don't mind me)

3:19:00 AM

(THIS POST MADE ME REALLY FEEL AWKWARD BECAUSE UGH FEELINGS BUT WHATEVER)

This past week had been so fucking stressful... I just want to eat maybe three boxes of pizza and three servings of lasagna and sleep for, like I don't know, three hundred years??????? I'm just so tired.

I've always been questioned about atheism and my views about sexuality and abortion all the other things I talk about a lot; but the past week had been really infuriating. I'm always open for questions and debates BUT, PEOPLE, I HAVE OFF DAYS. I've been a non-believer long enough to know that people around me will always assume I'm heartless because I don't believe in a god.

Like any other college student, I get sad too when I get low grades on my exams. I have little problems too like how will I buy a book I really really want or how will I approach a person I like. I have personal issues that I'm trying to solve. I also have insecurities like any other person. I have problems about family and friends and school and my fucking Anatomy and Physiology subject. I think people sometimes forget that I'm (almost) like EVERYBODY ELSE.

I'm human too. Being an atheist is a just a speck of who I am... It doesn't make up all of me. Yes, it affects my arguments and opinions and sometimes, feelings, but it doesn't mean I DON'T have feelings. It doesn't mean I only get angry and frustrated, but I also get freaking sad sometimes. I get sad when people question me about marriage and having children like I'm going to be really bad at it because I'm an atheist. I get sad when I can't argue with someone I'm talking to because I care about them and I don't want to ruin my relationship with them. I get sad when people ask me something and I answer and they don't listen to me. I get sad when people think that if a woman marries another woman in the future, they are not included in their idea of a "better life". (WTF IS A BETTER LIFE MEAN ANYWAY?? I'll discuss this on another post.)

I get sad, people. But sometimes, for me, SAD=ANGER. Most of the time, I don't know how to express my feelings properly so I'll probably just either shout or shut up. And this past week, I think all I ever did was fucking shut up and I'm regretting it right now (hence this post). I was just so tired and sick that I wasn't up for arguments. *sigh

Being an atheist is a part of who I am as a person... But that's my point here- It's just a PART of who I am. A big one, but just a part nonetheless.

(I'll probably delete this after a while. It's an off day today... so.)

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