Ellen Page

Thoughts: Ellen Page

6:45:00 AM

After watching Ellen Page's speech for the hundredth time today, I scrolled down to read the comments. I tried not to because I know I'd probably just get sad or angry, but then I couldn't control myself. Here's a few comments that made me want to pull out all my hair and hurt somebody:

 "They're trying to make it seem like it's okay to be gay."
 - Well, because it's OKAY TO BE GAY.

 "It's just not natural." 
It's not natural for YOU and YOUR religion. Not because you think it's not natural, it's   wrong. Not because YOU think it's different, doesn't mean it's wrong.

 "It's a brain disorder."
 I feel sorry for you, you bigot. (No, not really.)

I won't even waste my time replying to this one. 

I was angry after reading the comments' section, but then I watched Ellen Page's speech again and then felt so proud again. The things she said? That's what's happening right now. That's the reality. No matter how much people deny it, society has already set up "rules" that makes people feel obligated to do it. You might say, "But nobody's forcing you to do it!!", but hey, who doesn't want to be accepted? Who doesn't like to be treated normal? Who doesn't want to be treated equal? We all do. And because of these "rules", people who quite feel like they're not going to be accepted by the society just keep who they really are and what they really feel. 

Some people commented, "Why do you have to come out? Why is this such a big deal?" It's a big deal because she came out to the everybody- "Everybody" meaning the community who supports her, but also the people who will constantly judge her for being who she is. This is why I think coming out is a "big deal".

"I am tired of hiding and I am tired of lying by omission. I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered and my relationships suffered. And I’m standing here today, with all of you, on the other side of all that pain. I am young, yes, but what I have learned is that love, the beauty of it, the joy of it and yes, even the pain of it, is the most incredible gift to give and to receive as a human being. And we deserve to experience love fully, equally, without shame and without compromise." - Ellen Page


5:08:00 AM

When people discover that I'm an atheist, they assume that I've never prayed, read the bible or went to church. Of course, I'll instantly say, "Of course I've read the bible!" or "I know what's inside of a church looks like!" I've always find it funny when people think I grew up an atheist. 

Growing up, I believed in god. I believed in heaven and hell and angels and all that shit. I went to church in 'proper' dresses every Sunday. I prayed before eating, before going to bed... I prayed every day. I remember that sometimes, I get nervous and afraid because I forgot to pray. I remember wearing little too short clothes and people saying that it's a sin. And every time I accidentally committed a sin, I was afraid that I was going to hell and burn there forever. 

If there's one thing religion taught my eight-year old self, it's TO BE AFRAID. It taught me to be ignorant- to not ask for an explanation. This is the only reasoning I got: "If the bible says it's right, it's right. If the bible says it's wrong, it's wrong." As a little child who was scared to death of dying and burning in hell forever, that was enough. When I was a kid, I believed that obeying the bible was more important than being considerate to others. I was judgmental. I was blinded by the idea of heaven and eternal life. 

And then.. I grew up. I started thinking. Really thinking. What I did was, I put aside religion and thought about things thoroughly using the things I learn and the people I meet everyday. I started opening up my mind to all the possibilities. That's when I realized what religion has been doing to me- It has been scaring me, clouding my judgments, making me ignorant. I still remember the years when I still just "doubting" the existence of god, I was afraid. I was afraid that couldn't be kind and forgiving and loving person without "god". 

But then I started getting hooked to the internet. I found articles about people getting bullied because of religious people. I guess that was what pushed me to the edge. It didn't make up my mind in just a minute. It was a process. 

I was 14 years old when I started questioning religion.. and now I'm 18 years old and an atheist. And all I can say is, I'm kinder, more forgiving and more loving person than I was when I was a christian. I don't judge people just because a book or a magical god tells me to. I support gender equality. I strongly believe that the LGBTQ community shouldn't be treated differently just because they love who they want to love. I believe in giving women choices. 

I'm glad that I'm an atheist. 

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